Crazy things happen in the world of technology, am I right? Who would ever have guessed the Top Gadget of 2013 would be a $35 HDMI Dongle from Google? Or that Yahoo! would buy Tumblr? Or that Hewlett-Packard would become Chromebook evangelists?
With that in mind, I present some of my top wacky tech predictions for the coming year.
1) Apple buys Twitter, rebrands it “iTwit”. Tim Cook calls it, “The fastest, thinnest social network ever!”
2) Grandparents slowly awaken to the fact that their grandkids aren’t using Facebook anymore, quickly ruin Snapchat by joining it.
3) Amazon Drones and Google Robots wage bloody warfare. Sergey Brin starts work on Project Ironman. Amazon Web Services becomes Amazon Weapons Systems.
Hey Google, PageRank this!
4) Google Glass brought to trial on suspicion of murdering Privacy. Privacy’s surviving loved ones ask for the death penalty.
YouTube’s alibi also under suspicion.
Encouraged by the popularity of Scroogled merchandise with Google employees, Microsoft announces they will reorganize as the official Googleplex Gift Shop. Stock values soar through the roof.
6) YouTube announces major changes, no one makes a video complaining about them.
Morning Headline: “YouTube Changes Totally Awesome. All Billion Users Satisfied.”
Cat Memes lose popularity, replaced by the Geico Camel. Wednesday officially renamed Hump Day.
I love technology and how it changes our lives. There’s something almost spiritual about how new technologies connect and empower us. And it’s really cool, too.